Whorehouse Arizona Treats

Saturday, I went to see the Kings of Leon play at the House of Blues in Chicago for a very special show benefiting pediatric cancer research. Knowing that 1) I would be indulging in copious amounts of vodka tonics 2) Would be spending the night at a hotel 3) Would be wanting some form of junk food around 1am, so I made these GF rice crispy treats.

Although they were extremely magical tasting, they did not bring me any magical powers to get the band to impulsively play Arizona or play me a game of bowling at 10 Pin...


5 cups of RICE CHEX -they are gf, Rice Krispies are not!!!
1 bag of marshmallows (read the label for any hidden gluten jerks)
1/2 stick of butter
2 t vanilla

In a large pot, slowly melt the butter, vanilla, and marshmallows- setting one cup aside for later.

When the mixture is smooth, add the rice Chex, coating all pieces.

Quickly add the last cup of marshmallows to the mix, folding several times, and transfer to a buttered baking dish to set for about 20 minutes.

Now go stand up to a giant, say that you're a fighter... too drunk to remember. Too drunk to... weee ne ne ne neeeee, weee ne ne ne neeeeee, weee ne ne ne ne.

Two In One GF Cookies

If you're like me, you like variety. You can't commit to making one type of cookie, and GF cookies are like $5+ a box. Bogus.

I have developed a plan of action; this recipe can be altered in a few different ways, so play around with it and see what you come up with. This particular installment is for GF Chocolate Chip and GF Spice cookies.




You'll need:

1 cup Pamela's Favorite Sandwich Bread Flour
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/2 c coconut
1/4 cup potato starch

1/2 stick of butter
1/4 cup of olive oil
1/2 cup of packed dark brown sugar
2 T vanilla extract
1 t baking soda
1 t xanthan gum
1 egg
pinch of salt
chocolate chips for garnish

For Spice cookies include:
1 t ginger
1/2 t all spice
1/2 t nutmeg
a few grounds of fresh black pepper (depends on how spicy you like your cookies!)
crystallized ginger for garnish

Pre-heat oven to 350.

Mix butter, coconut, egg, vanilla, sugar and oil together in a bowl until creamy. In another bowl, combine all of your dry ingredients and then slowly pour them into the wet mixture, beating until it looks like "regular" cookie batter. GF baking is really dependent on weather conditions, so if its really dry outside, you may find you need to add more flour (rice or Pamela's) until it looks correct.

With 2 large spoons, drop 2" round balls onto a non-stick cookie sheet. You should not fit anymore than 12 cookies. With your chocolate chips, press a few onto each cookie.

Pop in the oven for about 5-7 minutes or until just beginning to brown (still yields to touch).



With the left over batter, dump your spices in. The dough will look like this:















Space your cookies thusly (yeah, I took that term from Alton Brown, so what...) and sprinkle a little of your crystallized ginger on top:

















And here is your highly delicious final product; a chewy, soft, very spicy cookie that your gluten eating counterparts will gladly enjoy. They probably won't know the difference. I play that trick on my friends all the time...

Pork Dumplings

So this was actually my first true attempt at making my own dumplings. I have made them twice previously, but it was using store-bought skins, and I wasn't all that happy with the final results. So I decided to make them entirely from scratch this time. I actually made some shrimp siu mai also, but I'm going to wait to post that one until I refine the recipe a bit. I was extremely happy with the way these pork dumplings turned out though, so on to the recipe:

Wrapper:

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup of water
dough for rolling surface

You could probably do this in a food processor (or a big mixer if you're a bad-ass and actually have one at home), but I went with the old Asian lady way and made the dough by hand. Add the water to the flour and just work it until it begins to pull away from the bowl. When it does, start adding about a teaspoon of water at a time, working it until it's a somewhat sticky ball. Flour the outside a bit and let it sit at room temperature for 15 minutes or so to rest. IT should look something like this (I like how it glows):


The pork filling (measurements aren't exact because the batch was very large and I didn't measure everything before adding -- it really does depend on how much of each thing you like anyway):

1 lb ground pork (I ended up with 1.41 lbs because that's what they had packaged)
1 cup minced white mushrooms (could use shitake also)
1/4-1/2 of a regular cabbage (napa is best, but my market was out)
1/2 cup chopped Anise Root (or celery)
1 minced jalapeno
1/2 to 1 full package silken tofu (more on this later)
2 bunches diced green onions, about 1 1/2 cups
1 tbs minced ginger
2 tbs dark soy sauce
2 tbs Hoisin sauce
3 tbs rice wine vinegar (to taste)

It'll look like this:
Mix everything together -- make sure to break up the silken tofu so there aren't any pieces left. The whole point of the tofu is to keep everything really moist, but it also seemed to help bind everything together when the dumplings were cooked, giving them a meaty but smooth texture that was really nice. I can't take credit for this innovation, some lady in NYC who beat Bobby Flay's ass on Throwdown used it in her dumplings, so I shamelessly stole it.

This will be enough filling for about 50 dumplings, probably more depending on how large you make them. On that note, get yourself something to drink, because you'll be here for a while...


Making these was much easier than I thought it would be. The first few attempts were a little thick-skinned, but I got the hang of it despite using a Tapatio bottle to roll them (wasn't bad actually, good for a small workspace). You'll want to portion out the dough in little 1.5" x 1.5" balls/squares Form them in your hand by pressing with with 3 fingers of your off-hand -- you want them to be little football or oval-shaped blobs, a little thicker in the middle than the edges. Flour your surface for each dumpling (seemed like the best way to keep them from absorbing too much of it) and roll them out to about 1/8" - 1/4" thick at the edges.

IMPORTANT: The center of the dumpling should be thicker than the sides when it's rolled to its final size. This is to ensure that there's fairly even dough distribution after the dumpling cooks and expands a bit. This is also a failsafe to ensure that the bottoms won't break on you while you're cooking them. The best way to do this was to roll the whole thing out to about 1/2 in. then concentrate on the sides, stretching the dough out to about 3" x 3", like this:
Assemblage:

Place a very large teaspoon of filling into the center of the wrapper
Fold the wrapper in half like a taco, pinching the dough together at the top -- make sure not to tear it
Crimp the dough from the middle out to the edge, and then seal the ends off

Here's what they should look like when they're all closed up and ready to go:


You can cook these dumplings several ways: put them in a regular steel steamer, do them in a bamboo steamer on a bed of greens (cabbage or chard works well), or boil them. But my favorite way is to make them potsticker style by combination frying/steaming them. So here's that method.

Heat some vegetable oil on medium-high in a thick skillet -- you want it to immediately sizzle when you put something into it (good test is to pinch off a bit of dough)
Place the dumplings in the skillet bottom-down, making sure to give each one space so they don't stick together
Cook for 3-4 minutes on this side, then turn over to another side (whichever lays the flattest), cook another 3-4 mintes on the other side


When both sides are fairly golden, hit the pan with 1/2 cup of water ALL AT ONCE and then immediately cover with a tight-fitting lid (watch the hell out, there will be spattering and hissing)
Let the water cook off, it took me about 8 minutes, but listen for the sizzle to change from water back to a more dry sizzle (NO PEEKING!)
Uncover and let the rest of the water cook off.. after it's gone cook for 1-2 minutes
The dumplings will crisp again as the water cooks off, but you might need to flip them once more to make sure they don't burn. They may stick (hence the name), but just try to jab them off with some tongs or a spatula without tearing the skins

And blammo, delicious dumplings:


Dipping sauces are as easy as you want to make them. You could do 2 parts rice wine vinegar to 1 part soy sauce and 1 part water with a little brown sugar to sweeten the deal -- that's probably the most classic sauce for these. Here's what I did since I like things spicier and more fish sauce-y:

1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp brown sugar (dissolve in hot water)
pinch ginger powder
dash sesame oil
dash fish sauce
1 tsp chili-garlic paste
1 squeeze Sriracha
2 tbsp water

Adjust to taste -- some soy sauces are really strong and salty so you have to dilute them more to avoid sodium shock.


In all, this took me about 3 hours, including the time making the shrimp ones that will debut at a later date. I ended up with about 20 shrimp dumplings and 20 pork with this recipe, but I have a ton of leftover filling and plan to get up to about 100 total. If you plan to make 100 or so, I'd do 8 cups of flour for the dough, and about 1.5 lbs of pork, and then get to work, as there should be enough filling for that many.

I actually will be freezing the majority of these -- you just want to pre-freeze them on a plate with wax paper on it then put them into a freezer bag. You'll just need to cook them a little longer to ensure that the filling is cooked through, but the methods are the same and they'll taste great. It seems like a metric shit-ton of work, but it goes quick once you get the dough and filling prepped, and they're definitely worth the effort, especially since they have longevity.

How can you say no to this face?

Vegetable Stew With Quinoa

2 cans tomatoes (I used Italian-style with herbs, doesn't matter though)
1 can corn
1 can green beans
1 can white beans (Navy beans will work, but Northern White or "White Beans" are the best because they're a little bigger and hold up to cooking)
1 zucchini
1 cup celery root (or regular celery)
1 cup diced onion
1 cup diced baby carrots (cut them on a bias if you want big thin pieces)
1 1/2 cups of quinoa (rinse it to be safe... most boxed will be fine, but definitely rinse bulk quinoa with cold water in a mesh strainer)
2 cloves garlic
1 box (16 oz?) vegetable or chicken broth
2 bay leaves
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
dash of oregano and basil

• Sautee the onions, garlic, celery root, and carrots for 2-3 minutes in some olive oil (with a crock pot, you could just throw them in there, but I really like the onions sauteed because it imparts more flavor)
• Add the tomatoes, broth, quinoa, and spices -- let it come to a boil and then reduce the heat
• Add the rest of the veggies, let cook for 30 mins or so (basically just to make the zucchini tender)
• Remove the bay leaves, and serve with some crusty bread

You could add chicken to this easily (buy a rotisserie chicken and shred it up, or just use diced cooked chicken breast). You could also sub the veggie/chicken stock with beef, throw it in a crock pot on low, and add cubed steak or a roast (sear it in the pan first for more flavor and better texture). Of course, you could use fresh or frozen veggies, I just happened to have everything in cans this time.

Here's the late-arriving pic of the finished product, complete with some shaved Parmesan on top:

Classic White Layer Cake with Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

For my friend's birthday, I made him a traditional white layer cake with a chocolate buttercream frosting, and it turned out great so I figured I would share it. I got the cake recipe from Baking Illustrated from the Cook's Illustrated people and the chocolate buttercream was adapted from A World of Baking by Dolores Casella. Since he is a big Green Day fan, I re-created the cover of American Idiot with powdered sugar and red frosting. Here we go. (Note: t = teaspoon, T=tablespoon)

Cake:
2 1/4c. Flour (all-purpose or cake)
1 c. milk (room temperature)
6 large egg whites (room temperature)
2 t. almond extract
1 t. vanilla extract
1 3/4c. granulated sugar
4 t. baking powder
1 t. salt
12 T. unsalted butter (softened, but cool)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 and grease your 9-inch cake pan(s).
2. Mix the egg whites, milk, and extracts in a bowl or 2-cup measuring cup.
It will look something like this:

3. Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a mixing bowl. I recommend finding aluminum-free baking powder like Rumford's:

4. Add butter to flour mixture and mix well until the mixture resembles fine crumbs.
It should look like this:

5. Add all but 1/2 cup of the milk mixture and beat 90 seconds in a stand mixer or 120 seconds with a hand-held mixer. Scrape the sides of the bowl and add the remaining milk mixture and beat another 20 seconds. It should look like this:

6. Divide the batter evenly into the cake pans. If you only have one one cake pan, scoop about 3 cups into the pan, as the mixture totals about 6 cups. Make sure you spread the batter to the edges of the pan and smooth the top. Bake until you can stick a toothpick in and it comes out clean, about 22-25 minutes. They will look like this:

7. Let them sit in the pan for a few minutes then invert on a rack or a clean surface. Make sure you are gentle with them, as they have a tendency to break apart if not fully supported. Let cool fully (about 1 hour). Then you are ready to make the frosting.

Frosting:

3/4 c. softened butter (or margarine)
2 3/4 c. powdered sugar
1 large egg or 2 egg yolks (the yolks make it a bit richer)
Generous 1/3 c. baking cocoa or 3 squares of melted unsweetened chocolate
1 t. vanilla extract or rum or whatever flavoring you would like
1/4-1/2c. half & half or cream (optional)

1. Cream the butter or margarine. It will look like this:

2. Add powdered sugar and mix thoroughly.
3. Beat in the egg, chocolate or cocoa, and flavoring.
4. If you want it thinner, add some half and half or cream.

The frosting should look like this:


Now, time to frost it up!

1. Place the first layer upside-down on your serving surface.
2. Put a large dollop of frosting on the top (bottom) of the first layer and spread it out to the edges.
3. Place the other layer on top (again, upside down) and dollop a good amount of frosting on top and spread it to the edges. Like so:

4. Now, scooping out a little frosting at a time, spread the frosting on the sides of the cake, making sure that is it is totally "sealed." Smooth the frosting out, and if desired, go over it with a hair dryer on hot to give it that glossy, professional look. Here is the undecorated cake and the final presentation with the cover art on it:

Meet The Cooks: Creme Fresh!

I'm a student in his late twenties, residing in St. Paul. I enjoy cooking, but baking is my love. Most of my posts will be of the baking variety, but I'm sure I'll add some good cooking recipes and even a review or two. I'm generally drawn to things that look challenging, so some recipes may have a bunch of ingredients or strange methods. Usually there is a way to simplify them, and I will make every effort to point out where that can happen. I hope you enjoy the recipes that I share, and I'm always on the lookout for something new to try out.

-Logan aka Creme Fresh! aka RealJustice

Beef Burgundy

this how I like to cook Beef Burgundy, aka Beef Bourguignon. it's a somewhat time consuming dish, but it is delicious, especially this time of year. it also can be frozen in small batches and easily reheated for a quick meal. my recipe is a combination of a family recipe and internet recipes.

you'll need:
2 to 4 pounds of beef
half to one pound bacon
one or two bottles of burgundy or pinot noir
fresh parsley
fresh thyme
fresh sage
bay leaves
black peppercorns
onions
pearl onions
carrots
garlic
chicken or beef broth/bouillon
cheesecloth
potatoes, egg noodles or couscous
a good dutch oven or stockpot



you're going to need some beef. two to four pounds of sirloin or chuck roast will work. cut into 1 1\2 to 2 inch pieces and place in a bowl. add a cup or two of burgundy/pinot wine and chopped fresh parsley. marinate overnight or two hours if you're in a hurry.

when ready to cook, cut bacon into one inch chunks. fry in skillet til crispy. put in pot. drain most of the grease. beef should be at room temperature with parsley removed. season beef with salt and pepper and brown in the skillet with grease and remove to the pot.




then brown carrots in skillet and remove to the pot. deglaze pan with some wine and pour into pot. chop an onion and put into pot. add half to one bottle wine and bouillon until covered.

using a cheese cloth, wrap spices, garlic, peppercorns and an onion. place in liquid.




cook at 325 for 3 to 5 hours, stirring occasionally. meat is done when a fork easily slides into it. remove to stove top.

cook pearl onions in butter and water in a covered skillet. remove and add to the pot. cook on the stove 10 to 15 minutes.

squeeze juice out of cheesecloth bundle and discard. remove all the meat and veggies from the liquid and place in bowl. on the stove top, reduce the remaining liquid in the pot by nearly half. add meat and veggies back and cook another 15 minutes.

serve over egg noodles, mash potatoes or couscous.